ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Description
A jumping board for me into a larger story I'm trying to create. This should be a good start to whet my appetite for this type of writing again 
Critique much appreciated!
Critique much appreciated!
Comments5
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Great short story you have there! Interesting opening you started off with too, it grabbed my attention and immediately painted a image in my mind about the setting of this short story.
And yeah, i can really see that you build your descriptions by utilizing the character's reactions. Can really feel that it's effective, seeing that it wasn't too long but yet sufficient enough for me to imagine what's going on and same goes building the characters.
Your dialogues were excellent as well. The choice of words were suitable for the setting that the story was taking place at and i found them to be very amusing.
Don't think i got much to add, seeing that TawneyK had addressed about the problem about shifting tenses. Overall, it's a great piece and i would have definitely continued to read if it was a story, keep up the great work
And yeah, i can really see that you build your descriptions by utilizing the character's reactions. Can really feel that it's effective, seeing that it wasn't too long but yet sufficient enough for me to imagine what's going on and same goes building the characters.
Your dialogues were excellent as well. The choice of words were suitable for the setting that the story was taking place at and i found them to be very amusing.
Don't think i got much to add, seeing that TawneyK had addressed about the problem about shifting tenses. Overall, it's a great piece and i would have definitely continued to read if it was a story, keep up the great work