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i will find you amongst the fog
that cloaks my path to you;
no rainbows will guide me
through the cloud and smog
that grips and stifles my arteries
with this mystic veil.

i am no knight,
more a vagrant drifter in the wind-
you are no maiden in distress,
just a spirit happy to shoot the breeze.
this is a new fairy tale
that denounce the brave
for those who are filled with fear;
and ignore conventions of old.

needless to say, we collided in the air
and i was buffeted in the turbulence
of my own affections.
you crippled me, trapped me by your words
like venus' flytrap-
all i wanted was an exchange of words,
instead i found a reason to stay.

there was no destiny involved,
just an attraction between like and like.
and so the i stopped drifting
if only whilst she still had breath.
but your voice caught me by the hair,
your words tore me from your reach
and masked your presence
with a dreaded mist that hinders
my thoughts.

slowed yet steady,
i will find my way again because
now i know
to follow where the vision is poorest-
i seek the dark to reach the light,
to clear your clouds
so we can see.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconsto67:

Author's Comments

Just something I felt like writing about a girl. Do tell me what I can fix up to make it better.

It's always about a girl.

Comments


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:iconilubyoo:
I like it.
I find that most people write best when they are experiencing strong emotions which is generally about a girl/guy. All my older stuff was because of a guy. Now I just do it for fun hehe
:icongemmiss:
I love it! You didn't put any rhymes in it, and I'm not objecting about that, but no-rhymes actually suited the rhythm of the poem. I am impressed by the way you wrote it, like a short story, which drew you in (I'm a sucker for stories). The descriptions are just BRILLIANT. All, in all, this is a lovely piece of art and you should be proud of it!

--
They say yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.

That's why it is a "present".

~Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda
:iconsto67:
thanks for that! glad you liked it =]
i am a bit of a story teller at heart so i do like writing these little stories :D
:icongemmiss:
cool!
:)

--
They say yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.

That's why it is a "present".

~Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda
:iconinsomaniac55:
For some reason I think that it would would read better if the second stanza was the second stanza.

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December 17, 2008
1.4 KB

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