a conversation (if i could speak)

if i wasn't afraid
i would say a great deal of things
to bring you closer in my mind,
the kind of words which would
embarass romantics
until they are red in the face.

this place where i would tell you
all my emotions is yet to be determined-
the very notion of revealing myself
strikes fear to my ego;
rejection is a knife too near for comfort.
i have no idea of what to say,
i would delay my thoughts by just a fraction
and stumble through inaction
before blurting out the words
which tie my tongue:

you're beautiful-
no i know it sounds cliche
but listen,
you glitter and glisten
as pure as morning dew.

we spoke of plans in the future;
but i have to let you know that you tore apart
the sutures that stitched my world together-
i knew my place and where i'd be
but who'd have thought
your face changed me.

you glow from the inside out
just like a floating candle
dancing on the water top-
all i want is to be close enough
to feel your warmth;
i wish you would be my life preserver
so i would not drown in the cold depths
away from you-

if i could speak,
i'd say all of the above and more;
but as it stands, or in my case sits,
i can barely write my lines;
failing to define my love for you
i can only flail and stutter,
stumble and flutter between indecision.
uncertain of my emotions;
anger, love and frustrations abound-

i'll stop here because i need to practice
my speech,
the one i'll recite to you
despite the fact that i have no knack
for speaking.
though in the end, i might make do
with just a simple
i love you.